Parents Need to Let Their Children Fail by Mr. Hector Valdez

October 22, 2013
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I've been teaching for 14 years now and as I look back, I realized that a teacher's subject designation is simply a decorative post that was assigned to him/her due to his/her academic specialization. Teachers in general are simply people with excess awareness of their humanity that they simply want to share it with others. A teacher is an individual that has the capacity to make people dream, cooperate, aspire, succeed, and most of all fail. You might be wondering why I gave so much emphasis on failing? 

Mistake, Error, Question Mark, Fail, Wrong, Trouble

Failure is a powerful tool that enables a teacher to create a "TEACHABLE MOMENT". A fragment of time where a person is stripped of his defenses and biases and is simply "intellectually and emotionally naked". Most parents will definitely disagree with me but I am also a parent. When a person fails he is simply put on state of confusion where his self image that was built on his early successes are simply shattered. Most parents tend to abhor failure because they want their kids to develop their full potential and unparalleled self-confidence. Traits that are perceived to be necessary to gain success later on in life. 

My son is quite competitive and if I might add quite gifted intellectually which tends to make him over confident to the point that he neglects strengthening his fundamental skills in school. As he grows up, he continued to develop his own identity based on how people see him parallel to the things he can do best. Success in his endeavors gave him self fulfillment but most of his learnings and realizations were from failures. It enabled him to know himself more and it gave me the window to challenge him more to be better than who he is now. Personally, watching my son fail is very painful but it is necessary. Because it made him more resourceful and it allowed him to see his limits and is simply forced to overcome them. Allowing him to look for more options and in cases where options are very limited, made him think out of the box. But there is a catch, in those moments of confusion we as parents should be the very people that would make him realize his life lessons and be the guide to them. 

Next time your kid comes home defeated, smile for there will be a day that he will come out a better person - stronger in all aspects. 


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