I made a major decision that changed my life as a married career woman 11 years ago. It was easy for me to embrace the idea of becoming a stay at home mom. I knew that I had to give up so much pertaining to a promising career opportunities and mobile lifestyle. I accepted that meeting with friends and fast professional and personal growth would be scarce or none at all. I didn't falter because all I thought was the presence that I could give Kuya and having a nanny would never be an option  again.

Paps and I hired a nanny twice but it never worked for us. It came to a point that only the two of us could fully understand and extend our patience to our son who was very active and clingy that time.

I never look back totally but sometimes I glance behind a little to remember the reason why I have decided to become a SAHM especially during those moments when I feel exhausted, impatient, and irritable. It is inevitable that some days are better than others and vice versa. My life becomes more challenging and time bound when I have started a homebased business with my mom after giving birth to Bunso who has been diagnosed with Mild Autism before his fourth birthday. I have to juggle my duties to give my best to my family especially to my precious sons and have trained myself to insert at least 20 minutes of "me time" a day to keep my sanity intact.


There are instances that I become so focused with business tasks that I take some time that is intended for my kids to finish deadlines. Honestly, I feel guilty. We live by the paycheck that makes me more eager to help my husband earn for a living to give our kids the life that they deserve. Like Paps, I take time to give our kids not just their basic needs but their wants sometimes because I like them to grow up knowing how to prioritize and make the right decisions. I communicate with them and teach them life lessons for them to grow up good and self-directed individuals. I see to it that I make the best out of what we have as a family. I do my best to be always there for my kids. I love them more than I love myself. I can give up everything to make them happy. But the question is, do they know and feel how much I love them? I know that it's not always easy to give the best for my kids but is my best enough for them?

I have shortcomings and imperfections and I wonder how my kids perceive me as a mom. Do their hugs and kisses validate their love for me? When they say "I love you, Mama", do they really mean that they love me or it's just a sort of a habit because I always say "I love you" to them several times a day? Honestly, it never crossed my mind to ask them not until I watched this video:

It's Mother's Month and a perfect time to reflect. How do our kids see us? Sapat kaya ang atensiyon at pagmamahal na ibinibigay natin sa kanila? Here's a touching video about how kids see their moms. Ihanda na ang tissue bago panoorin at nakaaantig ng damdamin. . https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1201733093286441&id=821902747936146&_rdr . #allaroundpinaymama #FernCKidz #kalidadnaalaga

A post shared by SJ Valdez (@allaroundpinaymama) on May 11, 2017 at 1:11am PDT

By merely thinking of asking them about how they see me as a mom makes me feel uncomfortable. It's because I feel that my efforts are not enough, that I still need to improve more to be the best mom that I can be. My husband once told me during one of the lowest moments of my life as a mom, "Mama, don't be too hard on yourself. You are a great mom and always remember that." I hope that my kids feel the same way. Well, I don't have the courage to ask my kids but I can ask Paps to do that for me.
FERN-C kidz was created and manufactured by the makers of FERN-C, the number one Sodium Ascorbate Vitamin C brand in the Philippines. As a product of FERN Incorporated and having the Quali-C seal, you are assured of its quality and efficacy. Plus, your children are sure to love the delicious orange flavor of FERN-C kidz. #KalidadnaAlaga ay sigurado with FERN-C kidz. 

In this life we call a "journey", we have the power to choose what we want to be and the road that we want to travel. In my case, I always choose to take the road less traveled. I always believe that I am on the right track when the situation gets tough. All I have to do is to purge all my resources and energy positively to keep going.

Having a difficult and sad childhood up to the extent of being stripped off with everything in young adulthood while figuring out how to earn for a living as a breadwinner, summarizes the darkest days of my life until I decided to get married and build a family of my own. I believed in those moments that "It shall pass", and it did. I faced reality and held on to the truth. I trained my mind to find something good in every bad situation. Having distasteful moments could teach more than losing more. The most important aspect of it was I learned who my true friends were and faith kept my sanity intact.

My life has been a continuous struggle but it doesn't stop me from being self-directed and optimistic. There was one time that I had a chance to converse with a friend priest and I told him my life story. These were the exact words that he said, "If that situation of yours happened to someone else, he or she might get crazy." Yes, it was easy to just give up and be selfish. I was young and there were opportunities in store for me that could be attained by being alone... But I chose to stay and be with my mom and brother. I didn't run away from my problems. I initially chose to stay away from negative people and that helped a lot. 

I am now married to my best friend, the best husband and dad, the person that God has given me in those times that I've needed someone to understand me. We have two wonderful boys and the youngest has been diagnosed with Mild Autism Spectrum Disorder. We have so many blessings to thank for despite having a challenging family life. We may not be rich in material possessions but I can say that we are happy. Our togetherness is truly a gift.

Trials come and I can face them bravely and conquer them gracefully because I am surrounded with good people. But at the back of my mind, am I truly contented? Am I completely free from my ugly past?

Honestly, there comes a time when I feel that there is lacking despite planning my life purposefully in accordance to what I know that is best for myself and the people I love. I feel this way when everything turns out unwell despite being prepared and righteous. Maybe, subconsciously, I feel that life is very unfair despite doing my very best to make it fair for myself and the people that I hold dear. I have a strong faith in God and it's very wrong to ask Him "Why me again? All is well and good, but why another misfortune? Mabuti naman akong tao at wala akong inaapakan. Bakit ako na naman?" Well, I am not always thinking like this. It seldom happens but it hurts. I feel this way whenever I am bombarded with too much problems all at the same time.  Itutulog ko lang at nagiging okay naman ako kinabukasan. I keep moving forward. I stay optimistic and do the things that I trained my mind and body for including repression and suppression of feelings. But still, I feel that there's an empty space in my life that needs to be filled in. 

Learning about the upcoming e-course, "The Roadmap to a Fulfille Life" by Miss Viviene Bigornia, just came right on time. I seldom read posts on Facebook for a couple of days due to my very busy schedule and it was the first post that popped up! Maybe God was sending me a message. Maybe involving myself in this course could take all my unresolved issues away.

These four statements struck me the most when I visited the website that prompted me to take the course:

- Learn the foundation and the very first step in finding God's calling

- Know what is a fulfilled life and how to experience it.

- Unearth your past experiences and discover where God is leading you.

- Get yourself prepared to transition from where you are to where you should be.

I am totally submitting myself to this course. Enrollment starts today, April 28, and ends on May 15. Upon enrollment, I can get an access to the following:

- Free Ebooks
- Free Printables
- Exclusive Access to its Private Community

You may go to http://thefulfilledwomen.com/fulfilled-life/ for more details.  If you feel that you have a situation closer to mine or if you are still finding your purpose, I invite you to learn with me. I believe that this will help us break the chain of resentments and pain to find more meaning in what we do.

When I posted my article about my Scholastic Box-All-You-Can Book Buffet experience last December, many of you were asking when the next Scholastic Warehouse Book Sale would be. I promised to keep you posted. Last Monday, when I logged in on Facebook, the first status post that popped out was the one from Scholastic Asia announcing that the next book sale would be coming very soon! Before I wrote this post, I already announced it on my Facebook page. 

Isn't it obvious that I'm so excited? I always look forward to this event. The much awaited Scholastic Warehouse Sale is happening this summer starting April 18 to June 18, from 9:00 AM to 6:00 PM. 

Scholastic Asia will be offering a wide selection of picture books, fiction and nonfiction books, popular series, references, inspirational, arts and crafts, teacher’s resources and audio books with discount of up to 70%. The most popular Box-All-You- Can Book Buffet for only Php799.00 will also be part of the two-month sale. 

My packing skill was put to a test on my very first Box-All-You- Can Book Buffet experience. I was able to place over a hundred books in two boxes and our discount was so huge. This part of the book sale is what makes me motivated since we need to change our set of reading materials this year.

In joining this, we have to follow these rules. It is a must for us to do so to save ourselves from hassle and trouble. 

Aside from the book sale, Summer Reading Fun Workshop, Build -A-Book Activity for kids aged 4 to 10 (with adult companion for kids 3 years old and below) will be conducted again like last summer. There will be two sessions every Saturday, one at 9:30 to 11:30 AM and another one from 1:30 to 3:30 PM to be led by Scholastic Reading Program Consultants. Kuya and I had a wonderful experience and I recommend that you let your kids join through filling up the official form.

In line with this, Scholastic Asia is giving away one slot of this summer workshop to one of my readers' child. If you want your child to attend, kindly write the following on the comment section below:

1. Complete the sentence, "I want my child to attend the Summer Reading Fun Workshop, Build-A-Book Activity because ___________/"

2. NAME and AGE of your child

3. Your Facebook Profile URL or E-mail address

4. NCR City of residence

5. Date of Choice and Time (You may choose from the following dates: April 22 or 29; May 6, 13, 20, or 27; June 3, 10, or 17, 9:30 AM or 1:30 PM session)

Participants should be residing within Metro Manila only. Please join if you are sure that your child can attend because it's non-transferable. I will choose the best answer. Announcement of winning entry will be on April 16, 2017. I will be responsible in sending your child's information to Scholastic Asia and I'll give you the details on how to claim your prize.

If you are a commuter like me, it's so easy and convenient to go there because the place is accessible to different public transportation options. For me, this is what works: from Robinsons Galleria, ride a bus going to Taytay. Tell the conductor to drop you off Jenny's. When you see the footbridge and signage C. Raymundo Street on the right side, alight the bus. You may walk or ride a tricycle. When you see Sorrento Oasis, Scholastic Warehouse is a few steps away. 

I hope that you'll join the giveaway and the book sale as well. Happy joining and shopping! I can't wait to know your book fair experience! Please don't hesitate to make chika! You can leave a comment anytime!