Our Three Basic Rules for Our Son's School Success
November 08, 2013
I worked as a grade school teacher in an exclusive school for boys for five years before I decided to be a stay-at-home-mom. I've seen students excel and fail. I felt proud when my students excel because it meant that my mode of teaching was effective but my heart broke to see some of my students fail after doing different interventions to help them.
Frankly speaking, I understood more the situation and feelings of my students when my eldest son, Ross, started to attend school.
I realized that school pays an important part in students' development but parents' behavior have a greater impact in their children's behavior towards school.
Our children is the reflection of our behavior and attitude--- the way we treat others, our concept of right and wrong, the consistency of our actions with our words, our ways of dealing with anger, and most importantly, the way we give expectations.
According to Mimi Hudson, Director of Community Programs, Family Services of North Shore, parental expectations affect our children's motivational and self-expectations. Our children succeed if given realistic expectations and they fail when faced with unrealistically high expectations. Their failure is due to pressure, anxiety, and discouragement when they don't live up with their parents' expectations.
In line with this, there were moments when my husband and I talked about how we were raised by our parents. To cut the story short, we realized that we enjoyed school and succeed because our parents guided us well.
To help Ross enjoy school and succeed too, we set three basic school rules for him. We still remind him everyday to follow these rules before sending him off to school. We also ask him to repeat them as we speak so that he would remember them by heart. What is good about him is he never complains and does his best to practice them.
Frankly speaking, I understood more the situation and feelings of my students when my eldest son, Ross, started to attend school.
I realized that school pays an important part in students' development but parents' behavior have a greater impact in their children's behavior towards school.
Our children is the reflection of our behavior and attitude--- the way we treat others, our concept of right and wrong, the consistency of our actions with our words, our ways of dealing with anger, and most importantly, the way we give expectations.
According to Mimi Hudson, Director of Community Programs, Family Services of North Shore, parental expectations affect our children's motivational and self-expectations. Our children succeed if given realistic expectations and they fail when faced with unrealistically high expectations. Their failure is due to pressure, anxiety, and discouragement when they don't live up with their parents' expectations.
In line with this, there were moments when my husband and I talked about how we were raised by our parents. To cut the story short, we realized that we enjoyed school and succeed because our parents guided us well.
To help Ross enjoy school and succeed too, we set three basic school rules for him. We still remind him everyday to follow these rules before sending him off to school. We also ask him to repeat them as we speak so that he would remember them by heart. What is good about him is he never complains and does his best to practice them.
1) BE GOOD
"One should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself."---Confucius, Golden Rule
We say that..."If you are good to others, they would be good to you. But if you are bad to others, they would be bad to you."
We always remind him to treat everybody with respect, kindness, gentleness, patience, and courtesy. He must be grateful when people treat him kindly. He has to use "Magic Words" (polite expressions) in talking to his classmates, friends, teachers, and other members of the school community.
We teach him the importance of sharing by offering his food during recess and lunch time or lending his school materials in case one of his classmates forgot to bring his own. It is also nice for him to take an active part in giving his time and resources in outreach programs and activities. When his classmates ask for help, he should be ready to give a helping hand.
He must religiously follow the "Clean As You Go" campaign in school. He should help in keeping his surroundings clean to lessen the load of the staff in keeping the whole school clean and tidy.
In group activities, he must see to it that each of his classmates have a share in the doing work.
He must act like a gentleman too. As early as now, we teach him proper decorum in public and ways of showing high regard to the elderly and women.
2) DO YOUR BEST
"Follow excellence and success will chase you..."--- Ranchoddas Chadchad, 3 Idiots
How we say it... "Study not just to memorize and get high grades. Getting high grades is good but going to school should be for the love of learning and understanding. Know what is important and essential. Do your very best in your studies and success would surely come."
We encourage him to study very well to be accomplished in the future. We teach him to know how to explain things in his words and help him study in his own pace.
We don't pressure him to get awards or be included in the honor roll. If he gets one, it would be a great blessing and his hard work would be highly appreciated. If he gets low in his tests or makes mistakes, we always tell him that it's okay as long as he learns something from the experience and do his best next time.
We are very fortunate that Ross is driven when it comes to his studies. His hard work gets positive results and it gives him more inspiration to do his best in everything that he does.
3) ENJOY
"Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your actions."---Dalai Lama XIV
How we say it... "Happiness is a choice. It is only you who can make yourself happy. Have fun learning and make friends! Do everything that would make you happy as long as you don't hurt others or break school rules!"
Aside from telling him that his academic performance is his topmost priority, we also let him try different activities like sports, art, music, and other foreign language that he finds engaging and enjoyable. We make sure that these activities would not hinder his focus in academics. We support him all the way to make him a well-rounded person. We let him make his own choice. We are always around to guide him and not to dictate what he should do. We also involve him in decision-making when it comes to his studies. It gives him the sense of responsibility and confidence.
Ross enjoys school so much. He looks forward to it everyday! Every night when I tuck him to bed, he would tell interesting stories about new things he learned from his teacher,
topics that he talked about with his friends,
his new endeavors, and new books that he read from the library.
topics that he talked about with his friends,
his new endeavors, and new books that he read from the library.
Above all these, it is very important that we, parents, practice what we preach. Being role models to our kids is still the best way to teach them just like our parents did.
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