Things That Make Our Marriage Work

July 23, 2013
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There's no perfect marriage. Ours is not an exception to that. Trials, anxieties, and problems may arise. I think that what makes our marriage work for nine years is due to the following reasons:

1. Our marriage is rooted in best friendship.
My husband and I were classmates and best buddies in college. We have a lot of common friends of good influences. We know each other well and we are in the same wavelength.
2. We share the same likes and interests.
We used to work together in the same organization. We are both teachers too. We love to sit down and have a nice cup of coffee while having good conversations. We can talk about anything under the sun without any hesitations. Both of us love to write, read, watch movies, hang out with friends, eat, cook (I admit, he is better in the kitchen!), and we are both home buddies who love to spend time with our family


3. We grow together.
We support each other in all the things that we love to do and try to be involved in them.We push ourselves to grow more, enhance the skills that we enjoy. We never hinder each other's own ways of reaching our goals and fulfilling our dreams.

4. We respect each other.
We believe that if there's respect, there's love. We never  hurt each other physically nor verbally. We argue but we do it like we are just having an ordinary conversation. When I am feeling down, he's there to lift me up or vice versa.

5. We never end the day without mending our misunderstandings.
It is a pact between us that we would not sleep without talking things over and mending our misunderstandings. We don't want them to accumulate. 

We saw other couples separate thinking that the cause of their separation was their current misunderstanding, not knowing that their previous fights that piled-up were the reasons why they split-up. 

We are also trying to avoid conflicts as much as possible.

6. We know how to compromise.
We have our own share in doing the household chores, taking care of our two sons, doing business stuff, and consulting each other for the good of our chosen careers. When one is not available or not feeling well, we do our very best to substitute for each other.

7. We know how to listen.
Both of us are open-minded people. Problems are easy to solve, misunderstandings are easy to mend, we can meet half-way and make compromises because we listen not only with our ears but with our heart and mind. 

8. We are COMPLETE for each other.
I realized that married couples should not complement each other by  covering up each other's weaknesses. One must be COMPLETE in all aspects especially emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually in order to cope up with all challenges that they may encounter. 

One must learn how to change his or her own weaknesses and flaws to help each other grow and move forward in this lifelong journey.

For me, it's improper to say to my partner, "You complete me!", rather I say, "YOU MAKE ME MORE COMPLETE!"
We love, respect, support, and understand each other more each day that's why "WE COMPLEMENT EACH OTHER." 
9. We know our priorities. 
Both of us were prepared before getting married when reality sets in. 

Romance is in the air when couples are still dating but how about the real stuff when kids are born and financial obligations arise--- "Who's going to look after the kids?", "How do we budget and manage our finances?",  "How about the hospital bills when a family member gets sick?", "How can we save for our kids' tuition fee and allowance when they go to school?". They are inevitable. We can never escape from them.

10. In all that we do, we do it for God's glory.
We put God in the center of our relationship and we do our very best to be good examples to our kids.

I learned so much from my nine years of being married. Richard Poon was right when he said on one of his exclusive interviews with his wife, Maricar Reyes, that "MARRIAGE IS HARD WORK." 

Marriage is not a fairy tale that when boy meets girl, they kiss and live happily ever after. Marriage would surely stand the test of time if properly nourished and taken care of.


 I would like to take this opportunity to thank my husband, Hector, for 18 years of best friendship, 15 years of loving relationship, and 9 years of challenging but happy marriage.
Thank you for your patience, understanding, and unconditional love especially in times when I was very emotional, unreasonable, and impatient.
If God will turn back time, I will still choose you to be my lifetime partner. I love you very much! 
Our marriage is young. We have more challenges and trials to overcome and fond memories to share. 
 I thank God that you are the one whom I am with for the rest of my life.

Photo Credits: Happy Wives Club and Time-Warp Wife

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  1. Thanks, Miss Em, for the nice words! God bless... :)

  2. ate, you say you are lucky to have kuya but i always tell you that he is the lucky one --- or luckiest. :) of all the things you wrote, i realized that i don't have most of them yet. but, i am hoping and praying that someday i could proudly say the same things and be thankful for having a the right life partner... i'll still read your other blogs, ate. hehe... miss you all. :)

  3. I'm so touched, my dear sister! Thank you so much for the nice words! Thank you for accepting me for who I am. I am indeed very blessed to have you all. God will give you the right partner...Just wait and see! Take care always! Love you! :)

  4. Inspiring post :) as long as God is center then the rest will follow :)

  5. I agree with everything you wrote, but I love number 8 and number 10 the most! I believe that a good marriage must be between two people who are already complete in the Lord. Otherwise, it will be a toxic relationship full of unattainable expectations. Thank you for this!

    1. Precisely, Mommy Maan! Thank you too for stopping by! You're welcome! :)

  6. So sweet ;) May God shower you and your husband many more blessings. I am married for 9 years now, and counting :)

  7. Love this post. My husband and I naman are very different, but opposites attract right ;)
    More power to you and your husband ;)

    1. Thanks, Mommy M! It's okay to be different form each other as long as it doesn't hinder your growth as a couple! It sounds like you are happily married din! God bless your marriage! :)

  8. In a world where a lot of marriages no longer last, it's good to see people still in love and striving to making things work What you and your husband have is really special. I wish you both more years to come!

    1. Awww, I'm so touched, Mommy Nicole! Same to you and your hubby! Thanks! :)

  9. I super love this post! Thanks for sharing mommy! I will let my husband read your post also.. God Bless!

    1. Thanks, Mommy Rackell! I also love your article about your stacation in Crimson! Ganda ng photos! :)

  10. Aww.. So sweet. Marriage really is hard work. And those who are willing to compromise, negotiate, communicate, and sacrifice will help them in their relationships. Nice reminder ito Mommy SJ not only to married couples but for those who are still waiting for their lifetime partners. :)

    1. Thanks, Mommy Kat! There is no such thing as perfect marriage. If there is respect, there's love...and love conquers all! :)

  11. What an inspiring post. Yes, we should stay happy and in love :)

  12. Awww, happy anniversary. What a beautiful way to honor your marriage. :)

    My husband and I started out with the same interests, but when we got married, our world shifted and the major things that we used to do together like music and working together had to go. We still have other commonalities like the shows we watch, our faith, and our values. :)

    1. You may not do some things that you used to do before but what matters most is your love for each other grows and grows as years pass. Papa and I share the same faith and values too that's why we're able to stand the test of time. Thanks, Mommy May! God bless you and your family!

  13. You are very fortunate to have a wonderful husband Mommy SJ. Keep that love and spirit until end. Wish you more insights and success on your marriage life.

    Me and my husband have 19 years age gap. There are ups and downs but because or Respect and Love we are going strong even as strong as Yolanda typhoon problems across our lives we keep the fire burning! I always support him in every step of the way.. That's husband and wife is...

    1. Yes, he's heaven-sent! Thanks for the best wishes. For me, age doesn't matter as long as both of you love each other dearly. God bless you and your husband! :)

  14. This is such a sweet, heart-warming post. Thank you so much for sharing. may God bless you and your husband.

  15. Respect. Indeed. Very important. :) I love your post so much.


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