My Take on "How To Spot Fake Hands-on Moms of Toddlers by Kathy Car"
April 25, 2015I am a Mom, Parenting, Reflections,
I saw the link to the article, "How To Spot Fake Hands-on Moms of Toddlers by Kathy Car" posted on Nurse's Diary's Facebook page, which was apparently removed from Sun Star Cagayan De Oro's website. Curiosity led me to click the link. As I read the points that the writer was discussing, in some areas, I admit it, I could really relate.
Let's face it! The scenarios sited are really happening to some moms out there who tirelessly take care of their families.
So based on Miss Kathy Car's standards, I passed being a GENUINE hands-on mom because of the following reasons.
Let's face it! The scenarios sited are really happening to some moms out there who tirelessly take care of their families.
So based on Miss Kathy Car's standards, I passed being a GENUINE hands-on mom because of the following reasons.
1. I don't have long, manicured, nail polished fingernails.
First and foremost, as a very busy domestic diva and mompreneur, I don't keep my fingernails long.
When I see moms who have long painted fingernails, I feel amazed on how they maintain those well-manicured, well-maintained nails while taking care of their kids! How kikay, 'di ba? I wish I can also do that but I feel uneasy when I tried doing so.
I would love to do nail art because I think it's fun! But growing my fingernails long makes me really, really uneasy. I feel dirty when my nails
are long and I can't do crafting and tons of household chores with long fingernails. Period.
2. I can answer what's the last poo of my kids look like.
It's gross to always check how my kids' poo look like everytime they respond to the call of nature. Seriously, I have to do this routine because my kids have history of gastrointestinal bleeding and amoebiasis. I have to always take note of their poo's consistency and appearance.
3. I don't go out with my kids in heels or with jewelry.
In my case, I always wear flats because of comfort and practicality. I have to keep up with my active boys. I don't wear heels because my legs cramp. If only I can wear heels anytime! Why not? For me, girls wearing heels look more feminine and fabulous! If only I can do that too! The mind is willing but my body is not!
I don't wear sets of chunky jewelry or accessories not because my youngest has the tendency to pull them but I feel comfortable not doing it. But when the situation permits, again, why not?
But this was what I found unacceptable:
Not bathing for two days...
Oh no! How can we teach good grooming to our kids if we don't take a bath once or twice daily?
 |
| This is my typical everyday look. I don't wear make-up at home but man, I take a bath more than once daily! |
To sum it all up, there's nothing wrong when a mom keeps her fingernails long and painted, goes out with her kids in matching outfits, heels and accessories, doesn't do the household chores because she is capable of hiring a helper, as long as she spends quality time with her kids every single day of her life. I admire moms who are capable of staying fit and fab while doing their duties as moms, wives, or career women.
There are working moms who help their spouses earn for a living to ensure their families' future and welfare but do their best to catch up with their kids. Some are working abroad but they see to it that they talk to their kids often. There are WAHMs and SAHMs who stay with their children 24/7 but they're just physically present but mentally absent. What do I mean? They're just with their kids to do the usual routines of bathing and feeding them but after that they spend their time on their gadgets, go to their neighbor's house to gossip, or prioritize their own concerns rather than their kids'.
We have to be aware that WE HAVE NO RIGHT TO JUDGE OTHER MOMS AND SPOT WHETHER THEY ARE FAKE HANDS-ON MOMS OR NOT. We have no right to say that a mom is a fake hands-on mom if she doesn't pass our standards or expectations. Judging other moms based on our own perception and beliefs is very, very UNFAIR!
The mother's attitude towards herself and others may be a reflection on how she mother's her children. Well, sabi nga, "Kanya-kanyang diskarte 'yan!" If a mother chooses to look "losyang" or "kikay", it's none of our business anymore. How we want to look like is not other people's business too. WE DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING AMONG OUR HOMES AND HOW WE RAISE OUR OWN CHILDREN SO WE HAVE NO RIGHT TO JUDGE ONE ANOTHER.
There are many faces of motherhood and wearing different hats can never be easy. Some days are better than others. But it's not an excuse for us, moms, to neglect ourselves. Kids learn best through example. In my opinion, if our kids see us taking care of ourselves, keeping our bodies clean, beautiful, and presentable whether at home or outside, our kids can be inspired and do the same.
Isn't it nicer if moms empower one another instead of pulling one another down? Isn't it good if we encourage one another to look, feel, and be at our best in all aspects so that we can become good examples to our kids? Instead of spotting flaws and judging other moms, let's mend ours and focus on how we can become better moms and inspire others to do the same.
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8 comments
OMG, as in OMG mommy! :S
ReplyDeleteI am a hands on mom. A proud hands on mom. I work at night, but as soon as I arrive from work, I am the one who feeds, bathes, plays, puts my baby to sleep. We have a helper, but she's only tasked to clean the house. While I am at work, it's my husband who takes care of our baby. We work hand in hand.
This one called my attention - Goes out with a toddler in heels and with jewelry --- while i do not wear heels, i still have the time to put jewelry naman. I even wear statement necklace kaya. haha! (Besides, there are teething necklaces kaya, so kahit papano fashionable naman noh. Alam ba ni Karen yun?) The term FAKE is just soooooo wrong. Grabe, hinanap ko talaga yung article nya.
Hi, Katrina! I can feel you! Hahaha! The article was deleted by Sun Star Cagayan De Oro. It created chaos! Lots of moms reacted violently. If only you're able to read it, nakagugulat talaga! For me, the article was very, very unfair. But lets face it, there are moms who are not able to take care of themselves because of the demands of their duties.
DeleteOn my part, I can't keep long nails (and I prefer it that way) and I seldom (though I still do) wear heels when with our kids. Kasi yung youngest ko sobrang bilis tumakbo, at kailangang habulin kasi dederecho sa kalye. haha.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't say other moms who can afford this are "fake" but I think it really depends on the mom's situation. I could really fix myself better when I had a helper kasi I didn't have to do laundry and some of the other chores, and the helper can do the running after the boys, but I was very much hands on with my kids back then even when I had to maintain my physical appearance at that time bec I was still a performer. Pero now, I don't think I can maintain nail polish if I have to do the dishes a lot (yes, my kids are PG that way, hahahaha) and do laundry and wash them up.
Yes, I agree with you, May. It's case to case basis that's why nobody has the right to judge other moms.
DeleteSuper same tayo, sis! I don't grow my fingers long din and tuwing may okasyon lang ako nagpapa-mani & pedi. :D Definitely no high heels lalo na kapag kasama ang bagets at baka di ko kayanin ang mga habulan portion. Hahaha! About the poop? Monitor ko din yun kasi constipated ang bagets. :-( Your blog post makes me F na F na hands on mom. Hehehe!
ReplyDeleteHahaha! Apir, Muther! I clean my own nails. Low maintenance ang peg. Lol! Thanks at F na F mo ang pagiging hands-on mom dahil sa article na ito. :)
Deletethat article! I pity the woman behind that article, it seems that she's unappreciated and unloved.. during the "height" of her fake mom article, gustong gusto ko mag umpisa ng fund raising para mabigyan ng pang salon si Kathy hahaha
ReplyDeleteHahaha! The article was deleted by Sun Star CDO kasi siguro maraming nagalit na mommies. Yes, that was how I felt too after reading the article. Sabi nga, "Your observations about others reveal more about yourself than those whom you observe."
DeleteThanks for stopping by!
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