Ways to Ease the Trauma of Hospitalization for your Child

October 27, 2015
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When I learn from friends and loved ones that their family is sick or being hospitalized, it breaks my heart. I empathize with them because I know how it feels to have a family member who's always sick. I've been in the same situation two years ago. I always hope and pray that it won't happen again because it's very, very difficult. 

Getting sick or when there's ill in the family is considered inevitable. It's like death, you don't know when it strikes. Most if not all, our strength, time, and resources are being taken away from us. All we need to do is to keep hoping and praying that everything is going to be okay.

It's more painful for us, parents, to see our children get sick.  If we can only take away their pain and suffering...

Children especially the younger ones have difficulty expressing their feelings. But we know when they are in pain. It's our instinct. The love and care that we give them can make them feel better and secured.

When our children know that getting sick is part of life and sometimes hospitalization goes hand in hand with it, the extreme trauma can be avoided.


According to the book, "When Your Child Is Hospitalized by Victor M. Parachin", there are 12 effective ways to ease the trauma of hospitalization for your child:

1     Learn together about hospitals.

Parents can make a potential frightening experience into an educational one. There are two ways to do this. You may read a book about hospitals to your child or have a visit to the hospital ahead of time. You can arrange this with your child's doctor to ensure that everything can be explained to him as he is touring around the hospital. The doctor is the reliable person to do this. The doctor knows the areas that are not infectious for your child or whether the hospital permits this set-up or not.

2     Be honest.

Never lie to your child the reasons for hospitalization, procedures, and the feelings that may occur during and after the procedure. Always tell the truth to your child so that he may believe you next time.

3     Offer careful explanation about hospitalization.

Parents are being advised by experts to explain carefully and thoroughly why your child is going to the hospital. Always use positive statements. For example, rather than telling your child that he is going to be hospitalized because his appendix is going to be removed, tell him that his stomachache will end when his appendix is already removed. Also inform him that many people like doctors and nurses are going to visit and see if he's getting better.

4         Respond to children's unspoken questions.

Your child may experience fear and anxiety upon learning that he is going to be hospitalized. Many of his emotions and concerns are left unspoken. The best way for him to verbalize how he feels is to ask him why he thinks he has to go to the hospital. Through this, he may give you answers that serve as clues to help you process things with him and make everything clearer.
 
5     Read Scripture together.

Catholics and Christians always turn to the Holy Bible to give comfort and consolation.

"God is our shelter and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble. So we will not be afraid..." (Psalm 46:1-2)
  
6        Pray with the child.

The Holy Bible is consistent in encouraging people to pray often especially during tough times. 

"Ask, and you will receive; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you (Matthew 7:7)."

7         Address the child's fear that he or she will come home again.

Children may fear that they will die and never return home when they are hospitalized because they know that sometimes people die in hospitals. To ease your child's fear and anxiety, you may do it by giving him something that he or she will look forward to. You may show your child a wrapped gift before going to the hospital and say, "When you come home, we'll open this together." You may also cook something together and say, "We will eat this together when we come back."

8    Stay with the child.

The parent can provide the child's emotional care and security more than any other adult. According to child psychologist, Dr. Lee Stalk, as stated by Victor M. Parachin on his book, if the parent is not possible to be present at all times,  he or she should try to be with the child all night. Nightime can be very frightening to the hospitalized children. They are afraid due to the strange setting, frequently suffering from pain, and hearing noises and sounds around them from other patients who may be in discomfort. Children may fear that another person is going to take care of them while they are asleep.

9    Reassure the staff.

When your child is already admitted, ask the nurses the things that they want you to do for your child. Most of the staff understands that your child is more comfortable with your care. They may have unpleasant experiences with overprotective parents. Doing this makes it clearer to the nurses that you only want to help them in taking care of your child.

10   Affirm your child's emotions.

Acknowledge your child's feelings when they try to cry or act like being brave. Let him know that you know how brave he is despite feeling hurt or you understand that it's okay to cry because he is in pain. 

11   Bring a little of home to the hospital.

Let your child choose some items to bring with him in the hospital. It may be his favorite book, toy, pillow, or blanket.  These objects can provide emotional security and assurance that he is going to continue his life during and after being hospitalized.

12     Empathize that hospitalization is a family affair.

Being ill or injured that demands hospitalization makes the child feel that he is isolated from his family. Let him know that each member of the family is with him in those times and it's a family affair. Instead of saying, "You are going..." say "WE are going to the hospital and WE can get through this." 


The following are prayers that you may offer together or alone:

PRAYERS TO USE WITH YOUR CHILD

Loving God, hear me as I pray,
Thank you for guarding me all day,
Now, keep me in your sight,
And safely let me sleep this night. Amen

****
Dear God, as I go to sleep this night,
let me know you hold me tight,
and when the morning comes again
let me in your sight remain. Amen.

***
Loving God, as I close my eyes to rest,
keep me in your presence blest;
As I sleep through the night,
Wake me with your morning light. Amen.



PRAYERS FOR PARENTS

For God's Healing...

Heavenly Father, 
We remember Your great acts of healing
through Jesus of Nazareth;
Watch with us over our child (name);
restore him/her to complete health
we pray through Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen.

***
Loving God, we recall how Jesus
received and blessed children;
Now, receive and bless this child
whom we commend to your loving care.
Bring relief from pain,
health from illness
and guard from danger. Amen.

***
Eternal and loving God,
Give your power of healing 
to all who minister in this hospital-
doctors, nurses, technicians, dieticians, chaplains.
May their gifts and dedication
bring the healing we desire, 
through Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen.


Reference: 
Parachin, V. (1994). When Your Child is Hospitalized. Liguori Publications. United States of    
                 America.


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