I worked as a grade school teacher in an exclusive school for boys for five years before I decided to be a stay-at-home-mom. I've seen students excel and fail. I felt proud when my students excel because it meant that my mode of  teaching was effective but my heart broke to see some of my students fail after doing different interventions to help them.

Frankly speaking, I understood more the situation and feelings of my students when my eldest son, Ross, started to attend school.

I realized that school pays an important part in students' development but parents' behavior have a greater impact in their  children's behavior towards school.

Our children is the reflection of our behavior and attitude--- the way we treat others, our concept of right and wrong, the consistency of our actions with our words, our ways of dealing with anger, and most importantly, the way we give expectations.

According to Mimi Hudson, Director of Community Programs, Family Services of North Shore, parental expectations affect our children's motivational and self-expectations. Our children succeed if given realistic expectations and they fail when faced with unrealistically high expectations. Their failure is due to pressure, anxiety, and discouragement when they don't live up with their parents' expectations.

In line with this, there were moments when my husband and I talked about how we were raised by our parents. To cut the story short, we realized that we enjoyed school and succeed because our parents guided us well.

To help Ross enjoy school and succeed too, we set three basic school rules for him. We still remind him everyday to follow these rules before sending  him off to school. We also ask him to repeat them as we speak so that he would remember them by heart. What is good about him is he never complains and does his best to practice them.

1) BE GOOD

"One should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself."---Confucius, Golden Rule

^{We say that..."If you are good to others, they would be good to you. But if you are bad to others, they would be bad to you."}

^{We always remind him to treat everybody with respect, kindness, gentleness, patience, and courtesy. He must be grateful when people treat him kindly. He has to use "Magic Words" (polite expressions) in talking to his classmates, friends, teachers, and other members of the school community.} 

^{We teach him the importance of sharing by offering his food during recess and lunch time or lending his school materials in case one of his classmates forgot to bring his own.  It is also nice for him to take an active part in giving his time and resources in outreach programs and activities. When his classmates ask for help,  he should be ready to give a helping hand.} 

^{In group activities, he must see to it that each of his classmates have a share in the doing work.} 

^{2) DO YOUR BEST}

^{"Follow excellence and success will chase you..."--- Ranchoddas Chadchad, 3 Idiots}

^{How we say it... "Study not just to memorize and get high grades. Getting high grades is good but going to school should be for the love of learning and understanding. Know what is important and essential.  Do your very best in your studies and success would surely come."}

^{We  encourage him to study very well to be accomplished in the future. We teach him to know how to explain things in his words and help him study in his own pace.}

^{We don't pressure him to get awards or be included in the honor roll. If he gets one, it would be a great blessing and his hard work would be highly appreciated. If he gets low in his tests or makes mistakes, we always tell him that it's okay as long as he learns something from the experience and do his best next time.}

^{We are very fortunate that Ross is driven when it comes to his studies. His hard work gets positive results and it gives him more inspiration to do his best in everything that he does.}

^{3) ENJOY}

"Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your actions."---Dalai Lama XIV

^{How we say it... "Happiness is a choice. It is only you who can make yourself happy. Have fun learning and make friends! Do everything that would make you happy as long as you don't hurt others or break school rules!"}

^{Aside from telling him that his academic performance is his topmost priority, we also let him try different activities like sports, art, music, and other foreign language that he finds engaging and enjoyable. We make sure that these activities would not hinder his focus in academics. We support him all the way to make him a well-rounded person. We let him make his own choice. We are always around to guide him and not to dictate what he should do. We also involve him in decision-making when it comes to his studies. It gives him the sense of responsibility and confidence.}

^{Ross enjoys school so much. He looks forward to it everyday! Every night when I tuck him to bed, he would tell  interesting stories about new things he learned from his teacher,} 
topics that he talked about with his friends, 
his new endeavors, and new books that he read from the library.

Above all these, it is very important that we, parents, practice what we preach. Being role models to our kids is still the best way to teach them just like our parents did.

   

I've been teaching for 14 years now and as I look back, I realized that a teacher's subject designation is simply a decorative post that was assigned to him/her due to his/her academic specialization. Teachers in general are simply people with excess awareness of their humanity that they simply want to share it with others. A teacher is an individual that has the capacity to make people dream, cooperate, aspire, succeed, and most of all fail. You might be wondering why I gave so much emphasis on failing? 

Failure is a powerful tool that enables a teacher to create a "TEACHABLE MOMENT". A fragment of time where a person is stripped of his defenses and biases and is simply "intellectually and emotionally naked". Most parents will definitely disagree with me but I am also a parent. When a person fails he is simply put on state of confusion where his self image that was built on his early successes are simply shattered. Most parents tend to abhor failure because they want their kids to develop their full potential and unparalleled self-confidence. Traits that are perceived to be necessary to gain success later on in life. 

My son is quite competitive and if I might add quite gifted intellectually which tends to make him over confident to the point that he neglects strengthening his fundamental skills in school. As he grows up, he continued to develop his own identity based on how people see him parallel to the things he can do best. Success in his endeavors gave him self fulfillment but most of his learnings and realizations were from failures. It enabled him to know himself more and it gave me the window to challenge him more to be better than who he is now. Personally, watching my son fail is very painful but it is necessary. Because it made him more resourceful and it allowed him to see his limits and is simply forced to overcome them. Allowing him to look for more options and in cases where options are very limited, made him think out of the box. But there is a catch, in those moments of confusion we as parents should be the very people that would make him realize his life lessons and be the guide to them. 

Next time your kid comes home defeated, smile for there will be a day that he will come out a better person - stronger in all aspects. 

Three months ago, my husband and I decided to teach my eight year old son a better way to understand that valuing money is very, very essential.  We asked him to invest in our home-based business Php 350.00 of his savings. 

We used Kuya's money in purchasing raw materials in creating  these Keep Calm and Posters-inspired key holders. Sales went directly to him. We guided him on how to use his money properly.

When we gave him his gross income, he bought  Artzooka (Php 299.75) and a small pack of Mighty Beans (Php 99.75) that he wanted for a very long time which we refused to buy before. These were his rewards after earning from his first investment. He reinvested Php 350.00 then planned to save what remained.

He told us that he realized that money was hard to earn. He felt good knowing that he was capable of buying things for himself by investing and earning. The result of delayed gratification was so sweet!

He would ask us to buy him toys whenever we go to the mall but we wouldn't give in. I would tell him that he has plenty at home so why buy often. He would listen but we could feel his sadness and frustration.


After this learning experience, he was able to understand us. He realized the importance of  PRIORITIZING WHAT WE NEED AND NOT WHAT WE WANT. He was happy that he could make a way to own the things that he wanted but he should work hard to get them.

These are the photos out of his reward, Artzooka! He made all these by himself with so much patience, love, and pride!

Kuya has so much to learn! Thank God he is very much willing to listen...

 

Learn the alphabet in Fifteen Minutes by TheKenOmatic

Teaching the Sounds of the Alphabet ( Alphabet Playlist by Sarah Cline)

Teaching the Alphabet Through Short Stories ( Playlist by ThatsMEonTV.com Official Page)

Have fun watching and learning kids and Mommies!

Courtesy: website.informer.com