How "The Undo List by Alu Aluzan-Aran" Changed Me
June 21, 2014
I was rigid and perfectionist before I read the article "The Undo List by Alu Aluzan-Aran" (pp.84-85) on Working Mom Magazine November 2013 issue. My friends would tease me and say that I was the ultimate OC (Obsessive Compulsive) of all. The article turned me around. It changed the way I looked into my routines - as a mom who pushes herself to the limits, who wants everything get covered by the dot, and changing the schedule would make the day quite unpleasant.
I also remembered the time when I was still teaching. I would carry with me a small notebook where my so called "Things to Do" list was written. My co-teacher, Mrs. Tin-Tin Alcala would tell me, "O, ano? Magagawa mo ba lahat ng nakasulat diyan?" ("Hey, what? Can you do all the things written there?") I would just shrug my shoulders and laugh about it. At the end of the day, I would miss three to four activities. I was too hard on myself then. I would feel bad if something was missed. Then I would include those missed activities on my next day routines. The same pattern would happen over and over until I got burned out.
I didn't learn from that experience. I still did the same thing when my first child was born. I would still sit down and write all the things that I had to do for the day. Hubby would tell me, "Ma, you have to be flexible. You are not a machine. You have to admit that you get tired and you need to rest. Don't be too hard on yourself. You're a great mom! Remember that."
As years passed, I learned to be a little flexible. But the eagerness of becoming a SUPER MOM continued.
After reading the article, I realized these:
1 There's nothing wrong if I pause for a while and give time for myself.
"Thirty minutes can change your day."
Honestly, I would feel guilty when I stop doing my motherly duties. I would feel like stealing time from my family.
Yes, it's true. We, moms, should have a daily me-time or appointment with ourselves that could be anytime between 30 minutes to two hours. It's time to maybe take a nap, do some crafting, read a chapter or two of our favorite novel, exercise, take a leisurely bath, meditate, or do something that we really like.
2 I should lessen my expectations and do what is best at the moment.
"There are seasons which will impact over time and can be confusing."
I learned to accept it and believed that it would pass and I would have my time someday.
3 I must know my priorities.
Following a "To Do List" drove me crazy in the past. It controlled me. It made me unable to focus on what was more important. I was physically at home taking care of everything but I was mentally absent, worrying about the future. I was hurrying to have a career outside our home, to grow professionally, not considering the fact that my kids still needed me. I wasn't contented of having a small business while taking care of my family.
When my kids got sick, I appreciated my being WAHM. They should be my topmost priority.
4 It's okay to slow down.
I love multitasking. It could make me finish all my daily tasks. But is this necessary all the time?
"It is important to be firm and single-minded when it comes to taking care of our personal needs, and using the time to do only the chores and tasks that matter to us and our family. Everything else is secondary."
HAPPY & CALM MOM = HAPPY & CALM FAMILY
Now I am more relaxed, contented, and happy with my spontaneous life as a mom. I don't care if I'm not able to finish everything in a day. After all, there's another day to look forward to. I just take a deep breath, smile, and say, "I know what matters most. Everything's gonna be okay."
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