Happiness is a Decision
April 28, 2018
In between doing mom duties, I also do my responsibilities as a freelancer. I manage a family crafting business, started a small home based food business with my husband (I will share this to you soon.), write for an online magazine, and maintain a website. I do all these with my family's support and help. We don't have a helper and we're used to it. Each member of our family does his or her share to keep everything in place. These are the reasons why all of us are very busy but we never cease to give time for one another. We are not rich but we live decently. We don't have much but we get what we need. We live to be contented but we never stop dreaming and making things happen. We never forget to be always grateful and thankful for our blessings. Focusing on our triumphs and learning from our mistakes keep us moving forward. Paps and I practice positive mind-setting which, we believe, is a means to attract more positive things.
It's inevitable that trials and challenges come, but we do our very best to take them as opportunities to be better. Seeing the good over the bad in a very unpleasant circumstance makes us think properly. Whining or complaining happens sometimes because we are human beings. We feel, get frustrated, and think that the world is so unfair. But it should not end that way. We have to work hard to make the world we live in fair for our selves and our family. The world may not be in our favor sometimes, even most of the time, but it's not a valid reason for us to forget our values. Like what we always tell Kuya, we don't have luxuries to give him and his younger brother but what we can promise is to give them a good name, best education, and most of all, a loving family.
The reason why I am sharing this is I remember an incident that happened a few weeks ago.
A post shared by Gng. SJ Valdez (@allaroundpinaymama) on
It's inevitable that trials and challenges come, but we do our very best to take them as opportunities to be better. Seeing the good over the bad in a very unpleasant circumstance makes us think properly. Whining or complaining happens sometimes because we are human beings. We feel, get frustrated, and think that the world is so unfair. But it should not end that way. We have to work hard to make the world we live in fair for our selves and our family. The world may not be in our favor sometimes, even most of the time, but it's not a valid reason for us to forget our values. Like what we always tell Kuya, we don't have luxuries to give him and his younger brother but what we can promise is to give them a good name, best education, and most of all, a loving family.
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| I have a wondeful family. What more can I ask for? |
While Loley (my mom), now in her senior years, is beadworking for Faithshoppe PH, our humble family crafting business, I take responsibility in doing printing stuff and some accessories too, and also the legwork. I carry heavy huge bags while commuting. I do purchasing, delivery, merchandising, and inventory. While I was doing the inventory in one of our partner outlets, I was fortunate to see someone who was part of my college days. We had a brief catching-up. In the middle of the conversation, he asked me what I was doing and here was our conversation.
Sir M: "Kumusta ka na pala? Ano'ng trabaho mo ngayon?" ("How are you? What do you do?")
I: "Heto po may maliit na negosyo at full time housewife po ako. Nag-i-inventory po ako ngayon." ("I am managing a small business and a full time housewife. I am now doing my inventory.")
It was very obvious on his face that he couldn't believe what I said. Based on his facial expression, he was somewhat disappointed.
Sir M: "Ha? Akala ko duktor ka?" ("What? I thought you're a doctor?")
I: "Hindi po ako tumuloy kasi nagkaproblema po kami sa family. I have to stop attending medical school to give way for my brother's college education. Karamihan po ng batch mates ko doctors na."
("It didn't push through due to family problems. I had to stop attending medical school to give way for my brother's college education, Most of my batch mates are doctors now.")
Sir M: "Sayang naman. Sana duktor ka na rin ngayon. Well, kanya-kanya naman 'yan. May nag-concentrate sa career pero nasira naman ang family. Pero ako career person ako. Dito na ako tumanda." ("It was such a waste. I was hoping that you were practicing as a doctor. Well, it depends on the situation. There were people who concentrated on their careers but ended up with broken families. But me, I am a career person. I grew old here.")
I: "Okay lang po. Masaya naman po ako sa ginagawa ko ngayon and you are doing such a good job. The institution is so blessed to have you for years." (It's okay. I am happy with what I do and you are doing such a good job. The institution is so blessed to have you for years.")
I didn't have to explain. Why would I? I just sealed the conversation with a smile.
After my last response, I could see on his face that he was convinced with my answer. But there was this strange feeling deep inside me that on one hand, maybe he felt sad and sorry for me for not becoming a doctor. On the other hand, he might be disappointed because for him, I ended up as an "ordinary" citizen, based on his standards. Well, with all sincerity, I didn't feel offended. A moment like that would always tell me that people measure success differently and it is based on their definition of personal success.
First and foremost, I live my life based on my own decision. I decide to act and live accordingly on what is good, beneficial, healthy, and happy for myself, the people that I love, acquaintances, and for others that I don't even know. I am a good citizen. I don't demean anyone. I don't cause harm in all aspects to anyone. I choose my battles. I have known my purpose and I focus on practicing it at my very best joyfully and willingly. I remember what my best friend, Alena, once said, "Siguro na-meet mo na ang Maslov's Hierarchy of Needs mo." ("Maybe you already met your Maslov's Hierarchy of Needs.") Maybe yes. Maybe not yet. Maybe I am almost there. But one thing is for sure. At the end of the day, I am always convinced that I am happy. I am happy with who I am and what I have.
