The feeling of exhaustion on my part started in November 2018, when I started pursuing further studies. The workload was doable but the adjustment period and wearing so many hats kept my hands tied. What was emotionally draining was sickness afflicted my family members and I. Indeed, I could not serve more than two Gods at the same time. I had to choose between my duties for my family over personal concerns which included blogging. Subconsciously I thought that I would be giving less for my family if I spent my time and effort updating my blog and social media sites. The mere fact that I would open my email, website, and social media sites made me anxious. I told my blogger friends that I would lie low for a while and asked if they could pitch in for my duties in maintaining BKS Moms Facebook Page, a mom page that I co-founded with them. I was so fortunate that they understood that I needed to rest and recover from burn out.

Yes, I was in a state of burn out for the nth time. I would usually be emotionally, psychologically, physically drained towards the end of every year but the kind of burn out that I had recently was so intense that I became confused and lost my sense of purpose. I questioned myself if I was doing the right thing. I doubted myself and felt that blogging wasn't for me anymore. 

Towards the start of 2019, I tried to finish my blogging and writing backlogs. But every time I do so, I would just stare on my laptop for a couple of minutes. Instead of wasting my time waiting for ideas to come out my head, I would just close it and send myself to sleep. I would feel so ashamed because I could not deliver on time. Despite it all, I was still grateful because most of the people concerned were understanding. Completing the tasks and delivering just for the sake of delivering made me survive. Mediocrity when it comes to work was not innate in me and it made me more sad and frustrated. The fear of handling more tasks and commitment made me decline invites and opportunities. I just wallowed. I knew that the reputation that I built would be tainted. I was worried but I was helpless. I was on the verge of depression but I did my best to perform in school and remained faithful in doing my mom and business duties.

I knew my priorities. I continued to be valuable and needed but no matter what I did, I couldn't escape blogging. Attending the "Game Plan for Success Batch 4" in April struck me. If I may say it in Filipino, "Para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig at nagising sa pagkakatulog ng mahimbing. Para akong sinampal sa magkabilang pisngi." For this, I would like to thank Viviene Bigornia, founder of The Fulfilled Women, because every time that I would lurk in confusion, sorrow, and sadness, she was one of those few special people who would remember me and pick me up from being down. 

I read her book From Depressed to Determined and attended her Visual Boarding Workshop that helped me to start dreaming again for myself aside from for my family but the Game Plan for Success Batch 4 was the workshop that made me see the path to my goals much clearer. It made me realize the true purpose that I was trying to deny. It helped me see that my purpose was just right in front of me that I should not look far to see it. All I should do is to embrace it fully to reach self-actualization to be truly blissful. 

The workshop was light and straightforward but emotional. The speakers' and participants' sharing of experiences brought me to tears. That was the moment when I realized that all of us have crosses to bear and it is up to us on how to carry our own cross. The speakers reminded me that, "There is always sunshine after the rain."

I will not delve deeper into what we have tackled because I want you to experience it yourself. There is a huge difference when you are present in the workshop than by just reading about it through this blog. The Fulfilled Women Community members are so warm, genuine, and supportive. They will embrace you for who you are and will let you feel that you are valued and purposeful.

That's why I encourage you, my female readers to join Batch 5 of Game Plan for Success this coming June 1 and also don't miss the Vision Boarding Workshop on June 15! I assure you that all your dreams and aspirations will be aligned with what you are intended to do in this world. For more details, you may visit The Fulfilled Women on Facebook.