All-Around Pinay Mama

In between doing mom duties, I also do my responsibilities as a freelancer. I manage a family crafting business, started a small home based food business with my husband (I will share this to you soon.), write for an online magazine, and maintain a website. I do all these with my family's support and help. We don't have a helper and we're used to it. Each member of our family does his or her share to keep everything in place. These are the reasons why all of us are very busy but we never cease to give time for one another. We are not rich but we live decently. We don't have much but we get what we need. We live to be contented but we never stop dreaming and making things happen. We never forget to be always grateful and thankful for our blessings. Focusing on our triumphs and learning from our mistakes keep us moving forward. Paps and I practice positive mind-setting which, we believe, is a means to attract more positive things.

I love life despite the challenges it gives because I am surrounded with loving, supportive, and good people. If you love yourself, you can attract love and give it back. What a wonderful feeling! Good morning! ❤❤❤ . START FEELING GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF http://www.psst.ph/start-feeling-good-about-yourself/ . 12 BEST ARTICLES ABOUT LOVING ONE'S SELF http://www.psst.ph/12-best-articles-loving-ones-self/ (Thanks for the inspiring articles, @snappedandscribbled, @purpleplumfairy , @momiberlin, @vinzeusala, and @mskathykenny. 😍😘) . . #psstph #partofthestory #aapmwrites #allaroundpinaymama #aapmmusings #nothingbutanokia #nokialumia630 . 📷 Martin Cross

A post shared by Gng. SJ Valdez (@allaroundpinaymama) on Feb 16, 2018 at 3:41pm PST

It's inevitable that trials and challenges come, but we do our very best to take them as opportunities to be better. Seeing the good over the bad in a very unpleasant circumstance makes us think properly. Whining or complaining happens sometimes because we are human beings. We feel, get frustrated, and think that the world is so unfair. But it should not end that way. We have to work hard to make the world we live in fair for our selves and our family. The world may not be in our favor sometimes, even most of the time, but it's not a valid reason for us to forget our values. Like what we always tell Kuya, we don't have luxuries to give him and his younger brother but what we can promise is to give them a good name, best education, and most of all, a loving family.

I have a wondeful family. What more can I ask for?

The reason why I am sharing this is I remember an incident that happened a few weeks ago.

While Loley (my mom), now in her senior years, is beadworking for Faithshoppe PH, our humble family crafting business, I take responsibility in doing printing stuff and some accessories too, and also the legwork. I carry heavy huge bags while commuting. I do purchasing, delivery, merchandising, and inventory. While I was doing the inventory in one of our partner outlets, I was fortunate to see someone who was part of my college days. We had a brief catching-up. In the middle of the conversation, he asked me what I was doing and here was our conversation.

Sir M: "Kumusta ka na pala? Ano'ng trabaho mo ngayon?" ("How are you? What do you do?")

I: "Heto po may maliit na negosyo at full time housewife po ako. Nag-i-inventory po ako ngayon." ("I am managing a small business and a full time housewife. I am now doing my inventory.")

It was very obvious on his face that he couldn't believe what I said. Based on his facial expression, he was somewhat disappointed.

Sir M: "Ha? Akala ko duktor ka?" ("What? I thought you're a doctor?")

I: "Hindi po ako tumuloy kasi nagkaproblema po kami sa family. I have to stop attending medical school to give way for my brother's college education. Karamihan po ng batch mates ko doctors na."

("It didn't push through due to family problems. I had to stop attending medical school to give way for my brother's college education, Most of my batch mates are doctors now.")

Sir M: "Sayang naman. Sana duktor ka na rin ngayon. Well, kanya-kanya naman 'yan. May nag-concentrate sa career pero nasira naman ang family. Pero ako career person ako. Dito na ako tumanda." ("It was such a waste. I was hoping that you were practicing as a doctor. Well, it depends on the situation. There were people who concentrated on their careers but ended up with broken families. But me, I am a career person. I grew old here.")

I: "Okay lang po. Masaya naman po ako sa ginagawa ko ngayon and you are doing such a good job. The institution is so blessed to have you for years." (It's okay. I am happy with what I do and you are doing such a good job. The institution is so blessed to have you for years.")

I didn't have to explain. Why would I? I just sealed the conversation with a smile.

After my last response, I could see on his face that he was convinced with my answer. But there was this strange feeling deep inside me that on one hand, maybe he felt sad and sorry for me for not becoming a doctor. On the other hand, he might be disappointed because for him, I ended up as an "ordinary" citizen, based on his standards. Well, with all sincerity, I didn't feel offended. A moment like that would always tell me that people measure success differently and it is based on their definition of personal success.

First and foremost, I live my life based on my own decision. I decide to act and live accordingly on what is good, beneficial, healthy, and happy for myself, the people that I love, acquaintances, and for others that I don't even know. I am a good citizen. I don't demean anyone. I don't cause harm in all aspects to anyone. I choose my battles. I have known my purpose and I focus on practicing it at my very best joyfully and willingly. I remember what my best friend, Alena, once said, "Siguro na-meet mo na ang Maslov's Hierarchy of Needs mo." ("Maybe you already met your Maslov's Hierarchy of Needs.") Maybe yes. Maybe not yet. Maybe I am almost there. But one thing is for sure. At the end of the day, I am always convinced that I am happy. I am happy with who I am and what I have.

This is my simple take on #Happiness. 😊😊😊 . CHOOSE HAPPINESS http://www.psst.ph/choose-happiness/ . . . #psstph #partofthestory #aapmwrites #allaroundpinaymama #wordporn #word #foodforthought . . 📷 quotesbox.com

A post shared by Gng. SJ Valdez (@allaroundpinaymama) on Apr 24, 2018 at 12:58am PDT

How's My Marriage?

February 18, 2018

On Valentine's Day while I was riding a jeepney going to Sta. Cruz Church and enduring the heavy traffic (Take note, it was V Day and I was still doing errands.), my conversation with Paps the night before played in my head.

Paps: "Ma, how do you find our marriage?"

I: "Paps, your question is too broad. Be specific, please."

Paps: "How is our marriage? How do you find me as a husband?"

I: "Paps, our marriage is imperfect like any other marriages. Pero ang maganda kasi sa atin, lahat madali lang kahit maraming pagsubok because we love and trust each other, 'yong tipong ikaw hinahayaan mo akong gawin ang mga bagay na nagpapasaya sa akin at ako rin masaya ako sa achievements mo."

"We are free to do what we love because we know that both of us can stick to our values. Alam natin kung saan ang hangganan at alam natin ang tama at mali. Alam natin ang ating priorities and limitations. Aside from respect for each other, we know how to compliment and complement each other. We know how to give and take. We know how to appreciate each other. We don't have the luxury of time and material things but we know how to make the best of what we have."

Paps: "Ma, ano ba ang gusto mong Valentine's Day gift?"

I: "Paps, you don't have to give me a gift. Ang mahalaga sa akin ang pagsasama natin araw-araw. Sapat na sa akin ang memories natin everyday. 'Yong maayos tayo at ang mga bata, okay na sa akin 'yon. Kilala mo naman ako, I am not particular with gifts and occasions."

Then we slept. When I woke up, he handed me a small box of Ferrero Rocher and greeted me Happy Valentine's Day. That gesture of his was typical. It wasn't unusual because he would do that often.

Paps is a type of guy who is inherently kind, thoughtful, and loving not just to me but also my mom and kids. I am so blessed to be his wife. How's my marriage? You judge.

Do you want to know our secret? Here's the story: Things that Make Our Marriage Work

*Featured images courtesy of Pinterest

Believing Again in New Year's Resolutions

January 12, 2018

My Chosen #OneWord for 2018

January 12, 2018

On 2015, CHANGE...

On 2016, BALANCE...

Last year, FOCUS...

This year, MINDFULNESS...

This is my fourth time sharing my #OneWord for the new year. I have chosen "Mindfulness" because it goes hand in hand with "Focus". According to the dictionary as searched in Google, the word mindfulness means a mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique. It also means the quality or state being conscious or aware of something.

In short, being MINDFUL means taking time for what truly matters.

I would like to continue practicing what I've started in 2015, making it consistent this year. I've noticed that mindfulness is what works well for me to keep my family and myself doing well in all aspects. Practicing mindfulness keeps me and my family from committing so many mistakes. It keeps things in order and in proper perspective because we focus on one goal at a time, living each day without so much stress and pressure because we try to keep things simple.

Two years ago, when the whole family recovered from being hospitalized for three consecutive weeks, I never let my work or personal concerns again to hinder me from being mindful. I remember that moment when I also got sick but forced myself to recover in a day because no one would take care of them aside from me. I wouldn't want that moment to happen again. It taught me a lesson. It made me realize that my health and family, first and foremost should be my priorities before anything else. Reaching personal dreams and goals would be useless when the well-being of the people around me would be at stake.

From then on, I promised myself that I should always stay positive, refrain from thinking and talking about negative things to avoid attracting them, and of course being focused on what's happening around me despite being busy with my personal concerns.

Now that I am more eager to be present not just physically but spiritually especially when I am with my family, I would still drop everything when my family needs me from the simplest to the most complex situations. I would still stay focused on their whereabouts even if I am working and dealing with my personal concerns. I am not going to feel irritated when things don't happen based on how I want them to be. Focusing on what truly matters and what's good and important at the moment is easy to say, hard to do sometimes, but possible to do.