All-Around Pinay Mama

"SOTANA" ni Loe Redada

August 01, 2013

Things That Make Our Marriage Work

July 23, 2013

There's no perfect marriage. Ours is not an exception to that. Trials, anxieties, and problems may arise. I think that what makes our marriage work for nine years is due to the following reasons:

1. Our marriage is rooted in best friendship.

My husband and I were classmates and best buddies in college. We have a lot of common friends of good influences. We know each other well and we are in the same wavelength.

2. We share the same likes and interests.

We used to work together in the same organization. We are both teachers too. We love to sit down and have a nice cup of coffee while having good conversations. We can talk about anything under the sun without any hesitations. Both of us love to write, read, watch movies, hang out with friends, eat, cook (I admit, he is better in the kitchen!), and we are both home buddies who love to spend time with our family.

3. We grow together.

We support each other in all the things that we love to do and try to be involved in them.We push ourselves to grow more, enhance the skills that we enjoy. We never hinder each other's own ways of reaching our goals and fulfilling our dreams.

4. We respect each other.

We believe that if there's respect, there's love. We never hurt each other physically nor verbally. We argue but we do it like we are just having an ordinary conversation. When I am feeling down, he's there to lift me up or vice versa.

5. We never end the day without mending our misunderstandings.

It is a pact between us that we would not sleep without talking things over and mending our misunderstandings. We don't want them to accumulate.

We saw other couples separate thinking that the cause of their separation was their current misunderstanding, not knowing that their previous fights that piled-up were the reasons why they split-up.

We are also trying to avoid conflicts as much as possible.

6. We know how to compromise.

We have our own share in doing the household chores, taking care of our two sons, doing business stuff, and consulting each other for the good of our chosen careers. When one is not available or not feeling well, we do our very best to substitute for each other.

7. We know how to listen.

Both of us are open-minded people. Problems are easy to solve, misunderstandings are easy to mend, we can meet half-way and make compromises because we listen not only with our ears but with our heart and mind.

8. We are COMPLETE for each other.
I realized that married couples should not complement each other by covering up each other's weaknesses. One must be COMPLETE in all aspects especially emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually in order to cope up with all challenges that they may encounter.

One must learn how to change his or her own weaknesses and flaws to help each other grow and move forward in this lifelong journey.

For me, it's improper to say to my partner, "You complete me!", rather I say, "YOU MAKE ME MORE COMPLETE!"
We love, respect, support, and understand each other more each day that's why "WE COMPLEMENT EACH OTHER."

9. We know our priorities.
Both of us were prepared before getting married when reality sets in.

Romance is in the air when couples are still dating but how about the real stuff when kids are born and financial obligations arise--- "Who's going to look after the kids?", "How do we budget and manage our finances?", "How about the hospital bills when a family member gets sick?", "How can we save for our kids' tuition fee and allowance when they go to school?". They are inevitable. We can never escape from them.

10. In all that we do, we do it for God's glory.

We put God in the center of our relationship and we do our very best to be good examples to our kids.

I learned so much from my nine years of being married. Richard Poon was right when he said on one of his exclusive interviews with his wife, Maricar Reyes, that "MARRIAGE IS HARD WORK."

Marriage is not a fairy tale that when boy meets girl, they kiss and live happily ever after. Marriage would surely stand the test of time if properly nourished and taken care of.

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I would like to take this opportunity to thank my husband, Hector, for 18 years of best friendship, 15 years of loving relationship, and 9 years of challenging but happy marriage.
Thank you for your patience, understanding, and unconditional love especially in times when I was very emotional, unreasonable, and impatient.
If God will turn back time, I will still choose you to be my lifetime partner. I love you very much!
Our marriage is young. We have more challenges and trials to overcome and fond memories to share.
I thank God that you are the one whom I am with for the rest of my life.